I Feel Like.....

Feel like browsing thru those inked pages,
Feel like fighting with myself today

Though those lanes dint me a thing other than pain,
Feel like getting lost while passing thru those lanes today

Got to know that Love is an innocent spark that will burn me one day,
Feel like pushing myself in that fire today

My face feels cold coz of dampness of tears,
Feel like drying up these tears in winter’s sun

Had been really hard to recollect myself after braking down many times,
Feel like spending few moments with her and then break down again today…

Its been long I have been drinking in her thoughts,
I feel like getting lost in her thoughts today…

Its been long these eyes have been waiting for a glimse of her,
I feel like seeing her one last time, after which I can sleep forever from today

Love

There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words 'I love you..' So we try to communicate the idea in other words. We say 'Take care' or 'Don't drive too fast' or 'Be good'.

But really, these are just other ways of saying I love you. You are important to me. We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and the meaning never gets communicated at all so the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

Therefore, we have to listen for love in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely. An impulsive hug says 'I love you' even though the words might be saying very different.

The problem is listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language.

We have to listen for love in those around us. If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realise..

Listen for Love and you will find that the world is a very loving place . . .

Memories Kill Me and Ignorance fails me.

I have been wondering for sometime now, Why do I feel sad when someone close to my heart leaves me. Then I remember the saying "You look back, You end-up laughing thinking of the moments you cried. But U cry thinking of the moments you had laughed" Very true indeed. The other day I was browsing through our college community on Orkut. I found some guys had uploaded links for photographs of our college. This was a real nostalgic moment for me. They had posted pics of most of our usual hangouts. I brought back memories of olden days(or is it golden). Each place had (atleast) one story associated with it, each a moment of laugh we had shared. One site led to the other and by evening I had browsed through 15 sites atleast. This covered every inch of Nitte.

Even after I shutdown my PC, I was still in my college. I could not think of anything else apart from that. Those sweet memories......
I also saw a couple of pics which had made me heartbroken then. These are the moments that make me laugh now. There were hundreds of pics which had made me happy then. I almost cry looking at them now. Why I am missing my college days so much. Why am I missing so many people. I try ignoring most of it telling " no, this is not important. That was just a phase in my life" But ignorance doesn't help. My heart knows its not true. By night I ended up having a heavy heart. I never know the meaning of heavy heart till now. Yesterday night while I was sleeping(trying to) my thoughts flying else where and suddenly I thought of my college, and I felt my heart going heavy.

I for once decided not to think of my happy moments in life. But now I have realised, that can't be done. people change with what is convinient to them. This makes some hearts, breaks many hearts. I had never understood Why this should happen. But I now know, I must have done this myself before. I have changed a hundred times to make my current being. One persons decision affects a bigger number of peoples' lives. I don't want these memories. 'Yeh joh yaadein hai, sabhi kaante hai. MiTado inhe. haTaa do inhe.....'

PS: Here I mention college days intentionally, but it must be replaced by many other things. Many other people to be exact.